Another Day of Mold

Well, this is my first shot at this so please be patient.

I work for an inspection company that handles home inspections, mold remediation, pest control, etc... This is a very interesting company and will definitely get its own chapter when I write my book. The following are the cast of characters that I get to work with;

Shirley; This is my secretary, from New Jersey, mother of Joey, ex-wife of Joe Jr, mother of Roxanne, from Jersey, been working here for fifteen years. She's 68, has a mouth that could make a priest cry, admits to smoking Crack in her "wild" days and still thinks I'm straight. This character develops & digresses daily.

Joey; Generator of 75% of the companies revenue, son of the owner Joe, works his ass off and has no personality. About the only thing he is capable of talking about other than inspecting a home is his daughters basketball. I went over January numbers with him today, he looked at me like they were a series of random lottery numbers, then asked "Now what is this again?" Well, I pointed and read the title of the report to him. He didn't comment. I made a chart for him, light-bulb, ding-ding-ding, we have a winner. Joey likes pictures. He understands now that he is getting ripped off.

Joe Jr; Boyfriend of Elaine, stands about four feet tall and runs around putting company decals on everything. I mean, we have our logo plastered on every god-blessed thing from staplers to the damn soap holder in the bathroom. I think there is something to his obsession, but I really can't give it much thought, the guy does sign my check. Other than random acts of decaling, his favorite activity is to call and yell at Shirley. Yup, these two were married.

Elaine; My boss, but it really doesn't count since she is constantly asking me how to do her job. Definitely anorexic, thinks she is an accounting wizard, always wants more money and can't help but to put everyone down. Typical catholic from New Jersey, thoroughly enjoying self-deprivation.

Jeff; I call Jeff Mr. Shakes! He is in constant alcohol withdrawal, really is not a big fan of having customer contact, thinks I'm his secretary and still thinks that AOL invented the Internet. Sad, but nice guy. I really think he means well, but he needs help.

Mold Crew; These guys are my personal Fraggles! They only show up on Friday for their check, then back to dungeons of mold. All of them are Mexican, come in with big smiles, thank me for their check and leave. They're great, they really don't speak English, so they don't complain to me. I love em!

Ed; Hmm, he spends his days spraying chemicals for our pest control clients. I think that about sums him up.

There are others and I will introduce them as I write more, but this should give you enough background to understand my days in the office. I really hate this job, but its good material to talk to my friend Heather about. Such as the other day when Shirley told me that she smoked crack in her past. Now, this statement came from a conversation I was having about this girl (guy) I started seeing. He's in recovery now for an addiction to meth, that's a totally interesting story that I'll have to save for this weekend. Back to Shirley, I really think she was trying to connect with me on a level that doesn't exist.

Okay, well, back to work. I have a couple more hours to get thirty minutes of work done. Insert sigh!